zerosleeps

Since 2010

How I wish I'd answered

Friday 19 May 2017

How I wish I’d answered these completely genuine, copy-and-pasted questions from eBay users:

hello,am interested in the macbook,kindly contact me back if the system is still available for sale

It’s listed on eBay isn’t it? Do you think I’d list something that wasn’t available for sale? Maybe you should spend your money getting someone to teach you how to capitalise and use spaces before you chuck it all at a MacBook that may-or-may-not exist.

I would be paying via bank transfer, kindly let me know if thats.okay by you.

You see where it says in the auction “Payment by PayPal only”? You figure the rest out. And what’s with you people and bad punctuation?

I would like to make an offer of $800 including postage.

THEN BID $800. That’s how auctions work you idiot.

Is there a local pick upand is the phone completely unlocked

Have you read anything on the listing? Did the delivery instructions which explicitly state local pick-up is not an option escape you? Was sending me this message honestly easier than reading the fucking information yourself?

Will you take $600 for the iPhone

YES. PLACE A BID FOR $600.

Hey any chance i can just buy it for 900

Zero fucking chance. See how the Buy It Now price isn’t set at $900? That means you cannot “just buy it for 900”.