Your turn, rest of the world.
I’d like to say it’s been fun, but it hasn’t. It’s been miserable. Was it good for you, Telstra? Was it? You took my money month-after-month in exchange for connection to your telephony and Internet services, and I was happy. I never complained. I ensured that the money I owed you was there for the taking.
And then you turned around and shafted me. Your glitzy new website (paid for by some of the aforementioned money, no doubt) began advertising super new plans! Cheap phone calls! Gazillions of Internet! Join now!
So I tried. I rang you up, and told you all about the creaking old bundle I was on, and why I wanted to pay a little bit less for a whole lot more, just like your website told me I could.
But you said I couldn’t. Those plans are only for new customers. You told me you’d be happy to switch my current service over, but that would see the start of a new 24 month contract. That’s TWO YEARS in old money. You didn’t want to know about the thousands of dollars I’ve happily given you over the last couple of years. And you laughed when I pointed out that the feeble download-limit you’ve imposed on me over that time just doesn’t work here in 2012.
What happened to loyalty? What happened to looking after existing customers?
So sod you. I’m off. I’ve had offers from about half-a-dozen other companies. Damned good offers. Don’t even THINK about gripping on to that telephone line I’ve been renting from you for two years: I’ll need that where I’m going. I’m serious. I’ll go postal on your ass. Serves you right for not even trying to hold on to my custom.
“Change Internet banking password” has been on my todo list for a long time, because I’ve always had this niggling feeling that it wasn’t very secure. It didn’t have any special characters, and it was quite short in length.
So I steered by browser towards NAB’s homepage, logged in, and found the functionality I was after.
And then I saw this:
Your new Internet Banking Password must be between 6 and 8 characters in length and consist of a combination of letters and numbers (e.g. 1acb1234).
What. The. Ho? This isn’t Weatherzone, where it’s cute to create an account so the temperature is always displayed in Kelvin instead of Celcius, this is an Internet banking site. A password of just eight alphanumeric characters doesn’t cut the mustard these days. Are you listening NAB? It’s people’s money. My money. Savings. Credit cards.
Spotted on The Register today, in a story about a breach of user passwords at eHarmony:
…more than 1.2 million passwords were cracked in 72 hours, using three NVIDIA GPUs…
Let’s start with a problem: the latest iPhone software update was going to take an estimated 6 hours to download here in Sydney. By undoing a “performance” tweak I had made on my network, it downloaded in about 12 minutes.
Before I reveal the solution, let’s talk about those acronyms in the post title.
Okay, so Domain Name System (DNS) is like a phone book for the internet. When you type “zerosleeps.com” into your browser, there’s a little magic going on behind the scenes. Your computer or router will ask your DNS service for the IP address associated with zerosleeps.com, and DNS will respond accordingly, spitting out something nasty like “22.214.171.124”.
Now you might be able to remember “126.96.36.199”, but what about remembering that, and Google’s IP address, and BBC News, and Daring Fireball, and…? And with the deployment of IPv6 it would only get worse, with IP addresses of “2001:4860:0:1001::68”.
That’s why DNS was invented.
Right, what about Content Delivery Networks (CDNs)? Well these puppies are used to help deliver content to internet users worldwide. Now zerosleeps.com is hosted on one server, somewhere in the USA, and that’s just fine given the volume of traffic received. But take a service like the iTunes Store, which simultaneously delivers massive amounts of data to tens of thousands of users worldwide? CDNs help with this problem by storing the same data in lots of different geographic locations, and try to serve that data to users from the closest of those locations. That means that global network traffic is decreased, because instead of downloading that movie from Apple’s servers in California, there’s a good chance you’ll end up being served by a data centre much closer to home. It also means you’ll be watching the movie much faster.
So what’s my beef with all of this? Well there are oodles of DNS servers out there, all keeping themselves synchronised with each other so that when a new website comes online or moves, within minutes you’ll be able to access it without knowing or caring what that new site’s IP address is. For the vast majority of home internet users, the DNS service you use is your internet service provider’s (ISP) own service. Sometimes, ISP’s DNS services can be a bit slow, or out-of-date, or unreliable, so geeks like me can tweak our network settings and tell our computers to use a much chunkier DNS solution, such as the one provided by OpenDNS.
However, because OpenDNS don’t have any servers located in Australia, I end up being dealt with by a DNS service located in the USA or Singapore or somewhere. What this means is that when I request data from a CDN (i.e. buy a movie in iTunes), the CDN thinks I’m in the USA or Singapore, and directs my computer towards an iTunes server somewhere around there. See how everything is coming together now? Although OpenDNS provides me with faster DNS lookups than my own ISP, what actually happens on the rare occasion that my computer requests data from a CDN is that I end up with slower data transfers.
Dear Australian television broadcasters,
I can only imagine the process of preparing a television show for transmission, but I am almost entirely confident that some time prior to showing a pre-recorded show you know exactly how long - to a precision of seconds - each show lasts.
I am also somewhat confident that you know how long each commercial you plan to transmit runs for.
By using simple arithmetic, it is relatively straightforward to add up all these durations, and determine to a very high degree of accuracy how long each broadcast will last.
Granted there are complications caused by minutes consisting of 60 seconds, and hours being made up of 60 minutes, however these obstacles can be overcome and calculations can be performed which tell you that if The X Factor runs for 98 minutes, and you have sold 20 minutes of commercials, the total length of that broadcast will be one hour and 58 minutes. Add in two minutes of self-promotion, and you have a two hour broadcast.
Armed with this information, you can in turn tell viewers in advance that the show following The X Factor will start exactly two hours after The X Factor begins.
You can see that if we continue this chain, you can quickly and easily create an accurate daily schedule of television goodness.
I do hope that this information will be of some use in the future. Perhaps even one day you’ll be able to eliminate the vast amount of bollocks you seem to put into your viewing schedules at the moment.
Kind regards, Scott.